told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
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the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
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Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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