got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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