we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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