What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
