last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
