I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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