I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
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wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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