CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
