12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My vagina is officially offended.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
