so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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