Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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