So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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