She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
