I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
