Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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