Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
you never un-have a 4some
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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