sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
