would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
