he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
