2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize
