naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
