and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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