I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
