yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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