one word: firstdatebathroomanal
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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