I'm really into asian looking animals
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
