How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.