I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.