Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.

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(954): View more from Florida

I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even

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(256): View more from Alabama

I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.

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(585): View more from New York

we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night

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(406): View more from Montana

Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?

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(571): View more from Virginia

we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy

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(631): View more from New York

If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it

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