I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks