Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
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Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
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its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!