Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?

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  (303): He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay? http://tfl.nu/l4uw
  Replies (6) Good night (979) Bad night (1912)
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  (650): View more from California

  Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.

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  (650): Not a fireman, but good enough for last night. http://tfl.nu/537l
  Replies (2) Good night (1034) Bad night (555)
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  (323): View more from California

  question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line

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  (323): question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line http://tfl.nu/5bhb
  Replies (38) Good night (2832) Bad night (1061)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.

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  (508): new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row. http://tfl.nu/sqmw
  Replies (9) Good night (4996) Bad night (1687)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.

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  (630): Thursday nights need to stop happening to me. http://tfl.nu/p744
  Replies (8) Good night (2480) Bad night (1059)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?

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  (816): this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..? http://tfl.nu/c9f0
  Replies (9) Good night (1744) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"

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  (512): he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear" http://tfl.nu/1ofq
  Replies (5) Good night (1643) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.

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  (321): He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector. http://tfl.nu/k71r
  Replies (10) Good night (1560) Bad night (596)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!

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  (309): Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half! http://tfl.nu/uska
  Replies (4) Good night (1363) Bad night (602)
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  (298): View more from

  The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.

  (208): View more from Idaho

  You're the only meteorologist I listen to.

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  (298): The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations. (208): You're the only meteorologist I listen to. http://tfl.nu/2k8s
  Replies (3) Good night (2107) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.

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  (989): Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing. http://tfl.nu/a55j
  Replies (1) Good night (684) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.

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  (623): Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight. http://tfl.nu/ppb9
  Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low

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  (802): I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low http://tfl.nu/lnwt
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.

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  (513): My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck. http://tfl.nu/0395
  Replies (3) Good night (882) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?

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  (248): My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes? http://tfl.nu/xjpv
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (342)

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