There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.