3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
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The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
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I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.