Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.

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  (773): I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne. http://tfl.nu/lh1l
  Replies (14) Good night (1036) Bad night (1086)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

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  (339): so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning... http://tfl.nu/swvs
  Replies (40) Good night (532) Bad night (2556)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena

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  (386): i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena http://tfl.nu/u4d0
  Replies (42) Good night (7472) Bad night (667)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.

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  (410): i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in. http://tfl.nu/63c6
  Replies (39) Good night (4216) Bad night (838)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.

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  (516): The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving. http://tfl.nu/b59v
  Replies (36) Good night (5893) Bad night (1467)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"

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  (719): I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today" http://tfl.nu/2j14
  Replies (26) Good night (3036) Bad night (6259)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.

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  (484): The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit. http://tfl.nu/31my
  Replies (18) Good night (743) Bad night (3892)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.

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  (724): You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame. http://tfl.nu/zyq0
  Replies (14) Good night (1883) Bad night (2891)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you

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  (832): you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you http://tfl.nu/7l95
  Replies (9) Good night (773) Bad night (3220)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt

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  (814): I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt http://tfl.nu/8loq
  Replies (8) Good night (584) Bad night (2184)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.

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  (304): I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad. http://tfl.nu/mnuf
  Replies (4) Good night (1237) Bad night (631)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.

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  (608): I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs. http://tfl.nu/xnbx
  Replies (9) Good night (1356) Bad night (431)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.

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  (202): It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks. (202): I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to. http://tfl.nu/wpl5
  Replies (10) Good night (1375) Bad night (557)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.

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  (917): New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward. http://tfl.nu/1xcw
  Replies (3) Good night (691) Bad night (334)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.

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  (402): I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married. http://tfl.nu/ry1c
  Replies (2) Good night (227) Bad night (596)

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