He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila