I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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