he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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