Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
