I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
