It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
