It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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