RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
