We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
