I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize