i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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