thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
