We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
