dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
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I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
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just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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