Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
