What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
