i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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