Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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