I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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