he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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