I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
