is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
