I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
