Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
