Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
