But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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