I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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