I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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